


All out of love

by AngelDove, cacoethes_scribendi



Series: The youtube series [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: All out of love, Angel Castiel, Angel Mojo, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Castiel, Canon - Tie-in Novel, Castiel Loves Dean, Castiel Saves Dean, Castiel and Dean get back together, Castiel/Dean Winchester Angst, Dean Loves Castiel, Dean Sings, Demons, Destiel - Freeform, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gen, Grumpy Dean, Happy Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, My First Destiel Fanfic, No Porn, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Sad Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-18 20:57:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2361971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelDove/pseuds/AngelDove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/cacoethes_scribendi/pseuds/cacoethes_scribendi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean hit a fork in the road, Dean calls off the relationship, Castiel has other ideas about the status of their relationship and Dean becomes increasingly inpatient with him, Slowly Cas comes to terms with the break up while Dean wants Castiel back. The problem that lies ahead for Dean will be - Is it to late?<br/><i>“Hello Dean.”</i><br/><i>“Cas”  Dean replied.</i><br/><i>..........“Are you alright?”  “Oh you mean other than not being able to sleep because some angel thought he could just come and take me out the bunker without asking me?  Oh I’m fine and dandy Cas!” Dean couldn't help retorting.</i></p><p>Inspired by a YouTube video.<br/>Part of a YouTube inspired series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All out of love

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [All out of Love](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/75167) by Angel Dove. 



> I'm not good at tags, so if you guys think of any please let me know :). Thanks.
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“Dean what do you think? Should we check it out?” Dean didn’t answer, he knew he should give Sam one but he was in no mood to check anything out, or even talk for that matter. He just wanted to be left alone. He knew it wasn't Sammy’s fault, he didn’t deserve to be ignored. 

“Sammy, I am just too tired to do anything. I think I might just head to my room, relax and listen to some music.” 

“Alright, but if you want to talk, I’m here okay?” Dean just nodded, stood up and headed up to his room. 

By the time he reached his room he was feeling morose. He missed Cas, more than he thought he would and he hadn't spoken to him since the heated argument they had the week before. Dean grimaced at the memory that flashed uninvited through his mind. He didn't want to feel anything, he just wanted to relax and with any luck sleep. It was no good dwelling on what had happened anyway, it didn't matter if he felt a lot or very little, this is how it had to be. Dean sighed, he walked over to the Mp3 player that was laying on the dresser, pressed play and slumped down on to his bed. As he picked up the head phones he could hear a familiar song playing, one he used to enjoy listening to but now it just reminded him of Cas. “Just my luck” he thought, “’All out of Love’ would have to be the first random song to play!” He didn't care enough to get back up to switch the song so he would just have to bare it until it finished. 

Unfortunately memories were flooding in, flashes from different times, different arguments.....  
......“I thought you said we were like family, I think that too” Cas had said. Dean couldn't bare the arguments any more, he didn't want things to end but there was no other option it wasn't working, “Cas I just can't”.  
......“Dean I do everything that you ask, I always come when you call. Why can't we try and work this out? Be the way we used to be”. Dean had almost broken, almost fell back in to Cas' arms but he knew there would be another problem, another argument, another piece of him ripped away.  
.....“Cas, you are family to me, you, Sam and Bobby are all I have left but I just can't take this anymore, it's just not working”. 

The memory was replaced with happier times, times when Cas took them to foreign places, like Belgium, Australia and a tiny island where there was no one else around but the two of them. Dean sighed and felt his heart ache it didn't matter. This is how it had to be. 

Dean was too tired, emotionally and physically. He hadn't slept well since the week before; he had been having reoccurring dreams of Cas and wasn't sure if Cas was created by his dream state mind or if he was visiting his dreams. He was too tired to work it out and for the first time in a week, his eyes felt so heavy he couldn't keep them open any more. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. 

**********

Dean was suddenly conscious, aware that something didn't feel right; he opened his eyes and rubbed away the haze. He looked around “where the hell am I?” he thought as he realised he was no longer in his room, on his bed. As his eyes focused he saw Castiel standing at one end of the sofa. Dean shot up into a sitting position and looked around again. He realised they were in one of the old cabins that he hadn't been to since they had found the bunker and was miles away from it. Dean turned back to Castiel. 

“Hello Dean."  
“Cas? What? Why am I here? What's going on?”  
“Dean I'm sorry. I know that you said you wanted to be left alone, but I needed to see you. I miss you.”  
“Dammit Cas! You can't just come and take me to where ever you please whenever you please because you miss me!”  


“Dean, I thought...” Castiel began but was cut off by Dean.  
“Cas! I told you it was not working with us and it's because of these sorts of things that we can't be together anymore! You just don’t get it because you're not human! I need personal space, we have talked about this before... many times before! Look Cas, it's late, please take me back to the bunker, and then tomorrow you can come over and we’ll talk alright?”  
“Alright Dean. I am sorry” Castiel looked dejected but Dean didn't care.

**********

Dean was still fired up after Cas had dropped him back to his room, what the hell was Cas thinking! Does he think it's okay to just mojo me to wherever he wants because he misses me? Dammit I miss him too! After pacing back and forth, Dean was unable to sleep and decided to head down stairs to look at what Sam had been talking about the night before. “Maybe it would be a good idea to check it out, get some of this frustration out by kicking some ugly black eyed son of a bitch’s ass” he thought as he left his room. 

Dean looked over all the omens that had popped up within the last week; it was obvious something big was planned. “Well” he thought “not if I can help it.” He wouldn't tell Sammy he was going because he didn't feel like he could be around him at the moment. He didn't want to talk and Sammy was constantly asking him if he was alright and it was driving him crazy! “If Sammy asks me one more time if I'm okay, I might just punch him out cold” he thought with a huff. 

He looked at the time; it was 4:30am. Sam would be awake soon, and Cas, he would be there at 6:30am no doubt. So Dean busied himself, hiding all trace that he had looked at the papers and maps that Sam had gathered and went on to make a start on breakfast for him and Sam.

**********

After breakfast Sam went out for his morning jog followed by a trip to pick up fresh newspapers like he did every morning. Dean planned to take the opportunity to go and pack his hunting gear for the trip. It was easier to do it while Sam wasn't around to question him about where he was going and then waste time arguing about him not coming along. Besides, he was still in no mood to deal with Sam. Dean suddenly remembered he would have to wait until Castiel had come and left again.

Castiel turned up at 6:30 like clockwork. Dean was still annoyed from the early morning trip to the old cabin and wasn't feeling very tolerant towards Cas......  
..........“Hello Dean.”  
“Cas” Dean replied.  
..........“Are you alright?”  
“Oh you mean other than not being able to sleep because some angel thought he could just come and take me out the bunker without asking me? Oh I’m fine and dandy Cas!” Dean could help retorting.  
..........”Dean. I said I was sorry and I meant it” “Yeah well you can take your little apology and cram it up your ass!” Dean spat.

Dean's words both hurt and angered Castiel. He stormed out to take a break before he said something he would also regret later and have to apologize for. 

Dean was in such a black mood “Cas doesn't get it, apologies aren't like candy. He can't keep doing things and then expect it all to be forgiven with an apology!” he thought. Dean looked at the time and realised he needed to pack his weapons into the bag and leave before Sam got back which would be any time now. 

While Dean was packing his bag, Cas came back and stood in the door way watching, wondering what Dean was doing and where he was going. He was taking enough weapons to fight an army! 

Dean turned to see the questioning look on Castiel's face. Another argument ensued......  
.............“I'm going hunting; a lot of omens have popped up all over the place. Something big is happening and I intend to find out what and stop it.  
.............Castiel sounded concerned when he asked “where's Sam? Is he going with you?” “No Cas. I’m going alone, I have a better chance not being noticed if I'm alone.”  
............. “Dean, I'm coming with you”. Castiel did not look happy with the idea of Dean going alone. “No. Cas, I'm going on my own. I don't want to be distracted.”  
............. “Dean that is not a good idea” Castiel reasoned. “Cas. My mind is made up. You will stay here with Sammy and make sure he stays put, if he asks you where I am, you don't know. Okay?”  
Cas didn't say anything.  
“Look, if you are sorry, then do this for me. Keep Sammy away. He has been through a lot and he needs to look after himself. Will you do that Cas? please?”

Cas was about to argue more against Dean going alone and not telling Sam, but he realised there was no point. Dean was going to go and it wasn't good to continue pushing with the mood he was in or he would end up getting himself killed. With a sigh Cas let it go. “I would give anything to have you not do this.” 

Dean didn't say another word, he needed to get his weapons packed and be out the door as soon as possible, before Sam got back.

**********

With his bag packed and ready to go, Dean turned to say good bye to Castiel. He made the mistake of looking into Castiels eyes. He wanted so much for Castiel to come with him, to be as they used to be. He knew it wasn't a good idea, it would remind them both of how it used to be and it would distract them from the job. Cas looked like he was about to say something and then changed his mind. 

Dean knew if he stood there much longer he would ask Castiel to go with him, so Dean took one last look at his ex and ran out the door. Castiel was left standing alone feeling heartbroken. 

**********

God must be playing some joke Dean thought as he turned on the radio. The station was playing “All out of love.” At first he felt more morose than he had the night before. He knew he should change channel but instead found himself singing along at the chorus thinking of Cas while he sang. Dean knew he wasn't a good singer but he didn't care, he was on his own, who was going to complain? 

The journey was lonely. Dean was so used to having his brother in the car when going on hunts, and when Sam wasn't there Cas was there beside him. He glanced over to the empty seat and couldn't prevent the flood of memories that washed over him. Some memories were full of love like when Cas sat beside him and they both looked in to the others eyes. Some were of them working on cases together. He remembered little details like how Cas couldn't even tie his tie so it was straight! He did it for him. The thought of fixing Cas’ tie warmed Dean’s stomach. He also thought of Cassie’s questions, they were sometimes so innocent and his puppy dog eyes could rival those of Sam. Dean had to stop thinking before he turned the car around and went back to Cas. 

For the next three hours Dean could thought a lot about Castiel. He wanted to get back there once he finished with the demons and ask him for another chance. 

**********

In Heaven Castiel was sitting alone on the bench, it's a place he loved to come to when he had things on his mind because it was so peaceful. This place was a part of May's Heaven, a sweet little old lady, who Castiel liked to sit and watch while she worked in her gardens. Maybe he shouldn't have came to this place since it caused memories flashed through his mind. Just three days ago, he had secretly went and watched Dean rake the leaves of a garden, he had wanted so much to speak to him, to make him smile, to lovingly take the stray leaf from his hair but Dean didn't want him to contact him. Dean said it was too hard to be around him, and so he didn't contact him, he turned around and walked out of that garden. “Maybe Dean was right”, he thought, “maybe it will never work because he's a human and I'm an angel, how can that work?” With that last thought, Castiel decided to walk away even though it hurt so much to do so. He knew Dean was right.

**********

“How could you let Dean go alone Cas!!!” Sam was furious that Castiel hadn't told him that Dean had gone to deal with the demons alone. He could get killed! 

“Dean asked me not to tell you, I didn't want to anger him any more than I have already, but I realised I made an error in not telling you, that is why I am here now, telling you. Dean has had a days head start on you but if I take you to him then no time will be missed” Castiel tried to explain. 

“Cas I understand, I really do, Dean hasn't exactly been easy to live with for the last nine days but you should have told me straight away. Can we pick Bobby up on the way?” Sam figured they'd need Bobby's help if there were as many demons as he thought there were.

“It appears I am saying sorry a lot lately, but Sam, I am sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing.” Castiel felt he had to say. He continued “do you have everything you need? We can leave now if you're ready.” “I'm ready” Sam replied, and with that Castiel took Sam to Bobby's who also lectured Castiel on not letting either of them know. Bobby took no time at all to gather what he needed and they were gone. 

It took some time to find Dean, Castiel couldn't find him easily since he placed Enochian warding on the boys' ribs to hide them from Zachariah and the other angels. They eventually found him in an abandoned factory, the 15th one they checked, but there was no sign of demons ever being there. 

After making sure everyone was alright and had everything they needed Castiel decided he would leave. There was no point being there. As he turned to leave he heard Dean speak to him “Cas hold up.” Castiel turned slowly as Dean proceeded with what he wanted to say “I need you!” Castiel felt angry, one minute Dean was hot and then he was cold and now he was hot again! He couldn't understand this human emotion very well so all he could say before he turned and walked away was “I can't.” It broke him to say it but Dean was right. As he walked he could hear Dean calling him “Cas! Cas!!” He had to get away, his heart, well the kind of heart angels had, ached so much but it was too late. Besides, Dean was right, it would never have worked.

“Did you find any signs of Demons around here?” Sam asked Dean once Castiel had left. Dean was distracted by Castiel's mood “hmm??” was all he replied, not knowing nor caring what the question was.  
“Dean”, still no reply so Sam repeated louder “Dean!”

Dean heard that time, “yeah... what Sammy?”  
“Did you find any signs of Demons?” 

“Umm no, if they were here, they are long gone, let's get back to the bunker and see if there is any more omens showing up in other places.” Dean really wanted some time alone to mull things over, but the car ride would do in the mean time. 

On the way back in the car, Dean was quiet. Bobby and Sam went over all the signs and the possibilities of where the demons could be going next. Dean didn't care, something had happened with Cas. He reasoned to himself that if he and Cas saw each other again they would talk and things would be sorted. Dean sighed and resigned himself to driving back to the bunker and working on finding where the demonic sons of a bitches were before they succeeded in what ever they were planning to do. “Maybe I'm too late” he thought as they reached the side road where the Bunker entrance was.

Finally Dean was alone in the bunker. Sam and Bobby had gone to grab some dinner after they had been at it for hours looking over all the maps, making plans to take a trip up north about half a days ride by car. Dean picked up his mobile. The standby screen showed a picture of him and Castiel smiling happily. Dean erupted, filled with grief. He was too late, he had lost Cas and nothing would change that. In a fit of uncontrollable rage at his own stupidity and grief of loosing Cas, Dean threw his mobile across the room. It hit the wall and bounced off. Still feeling no better he unleashed, again, violently sweeping all the maps, notes and lamp off the table. He picked up a chair and threw it across the room. All he could think was that he had lost Castiel, he was too late to say he was sorry, too late to tell him he was wrong. Dean spent much of the night in his room thinking, before falling into a listless sleep, full of dreams about him and Castiel. 

The next day they left and after a day of travel Dean, Sam and Bobby had made it to the house that was suspected to be where the Demons where hauled up. They'd arrived in less time than they expected, the roads were clear and Dean drove straight through, only stopping twice for a bathroom break and refuel.

When they walked into the house they found the occupants dead, there was a smell of sulphur, so the bodies had been possessed by demons but who killed them? Dean wondered if an angel had come through, the eyes were smoked out. 

“Dean, can you contact Castiel and ask if he knows anything?” Sam broke through Dean's thoughts. 

“I don't think he'll listen to me, Sammy” Dean stated seemingly emotionless. He was good at hiding his feelings. 

“Try anyway, we need information if we are to find out where they are, and who else is killing them. These killings aren't from other hunters, we need to know if we're facing two enemy's or not.” 

Sam was right and Dean closed his eyes and prayed to Castiel. “Castiel can you hear me? We need your help.” Dean opened his eyes a little to take a peak, no sign of Castiel. He tried again “Cas come on, are you there?” there was nothing but silence. “Cas?” he tried again but there was still nothing. “Cas is busy” Dean said, disappointment showing in his voice. His heart ached, Castiel was gone. He was too late. 

Sam interrupted his thoughts “that's alright we are too. C'mon.” Sam headed towards the front door. “Back to square one” Bobby sounded disappointed too. He took pleasure in sending demons back to hell after what they did to his wife. “Great what do we do now?” Dean was fresh out of ideas. 

Suddenly Sam shouted “DEAN!!!!!” and before Dean could understand why, he was pushed off his feet and flat on his back with a demon on top of him. Sam was thrown over a table and landed on the floor and Bobby was thrown through a glass door. The demon on top of Dean was grinning, if only he could get his knife he would take that grin off the son of a bitch's face but it was at his waist, where the demon was firmly positioned making it impossible. Dean thought he was a dead man, the demon punched him multiple times. It hurt but all his concern was for Sam and Bobby, hoping they were alright and would some how kill the demons attacking them. Their weapons were laying on the floor not easily reached. 

Movement behind the demon caught Dean's eye. Castiel stood behind the demon, one hand yanking the demon back and the other being placed over the demons mouth. A bright light was thrown out which forced Dean squint and look away. Dean lost his breath the shear beauty of Castiel, it was paralysing! When Castiel was behaving like the kick ass angel he was, it was so powerful it made Dean weak watching him, he never grew used to the power Castiel had. The light faded and the demon was dead and tossed to the ground. Castiel paused for a moment to look at Dean and then he was gone. He took care of the Demons that were about to kill Sam and Bobby then proceeded to take down another two demons that had arrived. He slammed them to the ground and smited them like they were nothing. It made Dean draw a breath, his heart ached and his only thoughts were “MY angel.” Castiel killed the last demon who now sat at the desk. 

Once he was sure no other demons was in the house Castiel turned to Dean who was still in awe watching his beloved. He managed to finally move and get himself off the floor “it's good to see you Cas” he said, not able to think of anything better. Castiel looked at Dean with loving concern “are you alright?” “Yeah” Dean replied “perfect timing” added Sam. Castiel chose not to tell them that he had been watching them since they had arrived in the house, unseen and unheard, making sure they were safe. 

Dean took Castiel aside as Bobby and Sam were removing the bodies. “Cas, I'm sorry for everything, I've missed you and I did a lot of thinking.” Castiel was about to interrupt and Dean raised his hand “Cas, wait, hear me out. It's important.” Castiel showed no further sign of interrupting so Dean continued “I did a lot of thinking since I left the bunker couple of days ago. Cas, who cares that I'm a human and you're an angel! We will work it out! So what we have had some pretty rough times! That happens all the time with every couple.” Castiel showed no expression, just patiently listened. “What I'm saying is Cas, I want us back, the way we use to be.” 

Castiel no longer remained quiet, he took one step closer to Dean, he was now so close that Dean could feel Castiel's breath on his cheek. “Dean, I did a lot of thinking too, I thought that you were right. I was prepared to walk away but today I realised that without you, I'm nothing. When I first met you I was an 'Angel of the Lord'. An angel that didn't care, I did what I was told to do. I didn't question anything, I never questioned if it was right or wrong. Would never have rebelled but you have taught me so much.” He paused thinking “I don't know how it feels to be human, although I did have that one experience when I ended up on that boat and in hospital in pain, which was terrible” he added as an afterthought. “I don't know how you humans” he continued but Dean interrupted “Cas, we don't have all day!” Castiel smiled, that was so much like Dean that it felt good and like home “right. Sorry. You humans make mistakes and not everything you say or do is the right thing. So even though I thought you were right to start with, I think now that you were wrong.” Castiel finished with a grin, he'd managed to explain newly formed thoughts and feelings in a way that his own beloved human could understand. At least he hoped. 

“Cas......wait.. I'm confused.. do you mean that you and I can try and work through this? Or am I wrong now and we shouldn't?” Dean held his breath. He tried not to hope but he couldn't stop himself. “Dean, we should try and work it out.” Castiel just stated it and Dean didn't know what else to say. He was feeling happy, his heart stopped aching and with Cas there by his side again, life would have a lot more meaning to continue the fight against Hell. He smiled at Castiel before turning to continue helping Sam and Bobby clean up. He couldn't wait to spend some time alone with Cas, the last ten days had taken it's toll on him emotionally, all he wanted was to be in the arms of his angel. A truly beautiful angel, that even when he did his worst and tortured souls in Hell, his Angel had never forsaken him. 

Castiel could hear Dean quietly singing a song he had never heard of “through it all, he offers me protection. A lot of love and affection, whether I'm right or wrong. He wont forsake me, I'm loving Angels instead.” Castiel made a note to ask Dean about the song later, it was good hearing Dean sing again even if it was a little out of tune. He did want to know what angels and he noted the plural, that Dean was singing about. 

Castiel took Bobby back to his house and Sam to the bunker. Once he was satisfied they did not need him, Castiel went back to where Dean had left the car. They drove back to the bunker. Dean chose a scenic route, he planned to stop often in out of the mill hotels to take what time they could to enjoy the moments together. Love each other. Hold each other. Make love to each other, hell even talk if they needed to before the next demonic activity started. When that happened Dean would need to be back out on a case with Sam whilst Castiel would go back to trying to bring order to Heaven.

  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy :) (and check out her awesome videos :p ).


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